Fairytale Companions
by orangebluethought
Summary: Series of unconnected one-shots from different companions' (and Doctors') perspectives excerpt from chapter one: Donna "She feels a bit like Alice, six impossible things and a world of imaginings that do not make sense."
1. Wonderland

**A/N: don't own doctor who**

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She feels a bit like Alice, six impossible things and a world of imaginings that do not make sense. Sees things in her dreams that can't exist, that are not real. She's even Important (for some reason the word deserves a capital letter). The most important woman in the world. It's how she knows they are dreams, even if they feel like memories. She's a nobody. Not important. There's a little part of her though, that whispers in gold dust and wisdom of centuries, that maybe she can be more.

She's developed an inordinate fondness of calling people Martian and Space-man. It's a strange impulse, and she cannot recall why it started. Although it surprises her, Wilf and Sylvia do not find it at all unusual. It scares her a little; that they seem so comfortable with something she does not understand, cannot remember. Donna wonders if, maybe, these impulses stem from her strange dreams.

It surprises Donna when her mother offers job applications for real proper jobs (good ones too, not just a job as a minimum wage waitress) without any condescending remarks and even tells her she is proud.

"Of course you can, you're brilliant." Wilf replies to Donna's adamant objections, hugging her close.

There's a sudden echoing dichotomy to her grandfathers words. It sounds like another man, voice full of absolute conviction, of power and knowledge and age old wisdom and for some reason she thinks of plimsolls and pinstripes (and vaguely, a hedgehog?). But it (somehow) also sounds like a woman and she feels both overwhelming sadness and overwhelming joy strangely at the same time and everything is golden.

The voices help her, she feels a little bit stronger, like someone believes in her more than anyone else ever has. She pretends hearing voices is normal, because she knows she'll be lonely if they leave and she believes her grandfather (though she never has before) and accepts the applications.

She ends up with an entry-level position in a large company. It does not pay that well, but she has already been noticed for her skills and even has enough money to move out of her mother's house.

Shaun asks her to marry him and she immediately agrees, excited (the shop is confused when she requests pockets in her dress). They may not have much money, but she is happy with him.

And when she opens the strange wedding present with the winning lottery ticket, she turns to Shaun and asks if, maybe, they can go traveling, walk in the dust, and the little voices that keep telling her there is more out there are silent. The dreams of all those incredible things are still there, but they are punctuated with dreams of her travels with her husband. She no longer feels like there is something missing.

And if she still feels a little sad when she looks at the stars, she assumes it's her grandfather she misses, and not the impossibly old, young man who was her best friend.


	2. Red Ridding Hood

**A/N: This is a sort of vaguely AU of Rose's time in Pete's World after doomsday and before JE. **

Rose spends 5 and a half hours staring at a blank white wall. When she finally turns to face her family, her mother (who is surprisingly silent as she watches her daughter warily) leans against the man who is but isn't her husband, and Mickey nods at her with something close to understanding.

There is a sign on the wall behind his head. Some poster one of the tech crew must have put up. It's some band Rose doesn't recognize. What she does notice is that the name of the record company is _Bad Wolf _and the album title is _Get Me Back To You_. She cannot decide whether to laugh or cry and a strange sort of strangled sound comes out. Mickey notices her gaze has shifted slightly behind his head and turns around. Eyes large as he turns back to her.

"Maybe 's a sign yeah?" He tries, taking a step closer to her and resting a hand on her shoulder. "Those words in this universe, means your s'pose to be here. A message to yourself." Before she can yell at him for even considering that she belongs anywhere the Doctor is not, he continues. "I'm not suggestin' you forget 'im, I know you can't, but maybe there's somethin' that needs doin' here? Or maybe there's somethin' in that world woulda got you killed." Her eyes grow wide, because, if she could see all that was, is and ever could be, than it is possible this vacation (she refuses to believe it's permanent) is necessary.

"Don't go givin' up on everything. You got your Mum here, and your Dad, and most importantly (cocky smirk and eyebrow raise in an attempt to make her laugh—she makes the strangled sound again, but there is a small, almost smile at the corner of her mouth) you got your best mate." He opens his arms for a hug and she rushes into them and holds on until her tears stop. When she pulls back, she no longer looks quite so empty as she wipes the mascara from her face and smiles back at him.

"Thanks Mick." Kisses him softly on the cheek. "So, how 'bout some chips?" The words are a little hoarse from crying and disuse and the phrase falls a bit flat, but it's an attempt. Her mother grabs her in a hug, babbling about how happy she is that Rose is there. Rose struggles to pretend it's not making things worse as she glances pleadingly at Mickey and Pete. The older man gently pulls his almost wife aside, making soothing noises as he leads her away. Mickey comes up and takes her arm in a comforting grasp as she watches her parents. She steels herself, she _can_ do this, smiles at him as they follow the others to the lift.

She's fine (or at least duct taped and rubber banded together, paper mache heart to replace the one she lost, made up of Mickey's jokes and her mother's tea, and the acceptance of her (not really, but sort of) father). She takes her A-levels (finds them surprisingly easy after spending her time doing the impossible and interpreting high-speed techno-babble) and works at Torchwood, saving the world from alien threats on a regular basis.

She's on her way home late one night when the hairs on the nape of her neck stand on end and there is a tingling sensation that flutters across her skin. She reaches for a hand that is not there. A strange echoing sound in her head, like music, and everything turns gold for a second before she closes her eyes and squeezes her unbearably empty hand into a fist.

When she opens her eyes again, her head is silent and everything looks normal. (Except for the Zeppelins in the sky, and the empty hand at her side—she does not belong here.) But she steels herself, wipes at the salty tracks on her face and unclenches her fist. The bad wolf howls as she turns away, and pretends the familiar graffiti on the dilapidated wall has no meaning, only to stumble on a crack in the sidewalk. Lays sprawled on the cold concrete.

A hand pulls her to her feet and an older gentleman, somewhere around 60 she thinks, asks if she needs assistance, if he should call a cab or help her home. She's about to refuse (perhaps she's paranoid—comes with the job—but seemingly innocuous strangers offering help for no reason make her uneasy), when she notices the label of his shirt.

Written below the logo of a golden wolf in elegant script is the word _Bad _in poorly conjugated Latin.

She immediately accepts the offer, and drags him to a nearby chip shop in thanks. Turns out Doctor John Smith (she would have laughed, if it wasn't so painful) is this universe's version of a Noble Prize laurite, and presently teaches physics at the nearby university, and he finds her theories on time and parallel universes fascinating. By the time she gets home, he's already offered her a place as a PhD candidate and is willing to work around her busy Torchwood schedule.

That night she dreams a message from the Doctor. Instead of ignoring the John Smith's email with the graduate studies information like her desperate optimism and unfailing belief in the Doctor insists, Rose responds (it's only polite, after all if she does get home to the Doctor she should at least warn the professor she might not be available). She tells him she will be out of the country on Torchwood business, but she will contact him with the necessary paperwork if she comes back. He replies with a nice message, ignoring the subtle hint that she may not return, and tells her that will be fine.

When she does come back, he raises an eyebrow at her depressed demeanor but doesn't say anything (she's glad, after sitting for five and a half hours on a cold beach named after a goddess, waiting for something that didn't happen, she's not really sure she can say anything without bursting into tears). Instead, he takes her to his friend's lab.

Although his PhD is in theoretical physics and he was one of John's graduate students, Doctor Gordon Freeman presently works as an experimental physicist. After having to fight his way out of his old laboratory during the Cybermen invasion (with a crowbar of all things), he felt it important to study something more applicable than theories. So he's taken a liking to lasers and robotics.

The two doctors watch as Rose Tyler; Defender of the Earth burns pictures into a crisp sheet of paper with the laser from Gordon's lab, looking a lot less sad (if a bit surprised that the shape of the laser marks look vaguely like a wolf) once she's finished.

As time goes by, she tries not to let her despair consume her. The Doctor once told her to have a fantastic life, and she _is_ attempting. Goes to the pub with Mickey and some of the other Torchwood staff to catch a match. (Laughs with Mickey as they sit at the bar, watching this universe's version of football) Gets along quite well with her co-worker Gwen, and they go shopping for "girl time" every few weeks.

She takes this time (before she figures out how to get back, because she _will_, she's _Rose Tyler_) to get to know her family, and to get to know herself too. So much time spent with the Doctor as such a defining part of her; that she never really learned who _she_ is. She likes the confidence she's gained. Isn't really sure what she thinks of that little bit of hardness that reminds her of a diluted Storm.

She enjoys babysitting Tony once a week so her mother and Pete can have a date night. She snuggles with him as they view Disney movies and it almost doesn't hurt to watch _The Lion King_, not with her little brother curled into her with his love and devotion, and she's glad she gets this chance to know him.

Doctor Smith and Doctor Freeman, keep her busy with journal articles and physics books and wacky, half thought out experiments. When she is halfway through her dissertation, she officially introduces the doctors to Torchwood. And they have loads of fun experimenting in R&D, before officially signing on as Science Consultants.

She may be learning how to live without the Doctor, but she hasn't given up trying to get back. Just because the Doctor _said_ it was impossible doesn't mean it _is_. He uses that word all the time, like some badly chosen catch phrase. She's seen the impossible enough times that she doesn't really believe it anymore. But she knows the Doctor well enough to know _he_ does.

It's once the stars start going out that her attempts become something desperate (that little bit of herself she has been trying to keep safe for her family and friends starts to disintegrate.) because if anyone can fix this, it's the Doctor. She tries to pretend she's not worried, not obsessed, but everyone notices. Even little Tony realizes something is wrong, he cuddles into her and gibbers adorably, opening a beautifully illustrated children's book and handing it to her to read.

_ The Bad Wolf_.

It's apparently this world's version of _Little Red Ridding Hood_. Rose grasps the book in shaky hands and it slips between her fingers and falls to the floor, losing the page. It's finally hits her; that she is going to leave her family and friends behind, and she's not really certain what she thinks of that. Later that night she writes letters to her friends and family, hidden in her desk drawer for them to uncover when she doesn't come back.

She sneaks the book out and reads _Bad Wolf_ to herself. In this version of the story, there is no woodsman to save Red, and the girl is forced to do it herself. Rose finds it oddly fitting. Her woodsman is in another universe…and believes saving her is impossible.

Rose takes another look at the dimension cannon calculations sprawled across her desk and several whiteboards. There was a time when she never would have considered herself capable of this, but not anymore. She has grown up, and learned who she is and what she's capable of.

With a decisive nod and a thank you to her fellow scientists, she heads to Pete's office. She'll start jumping tomorrow.


	3. Ancient Mariner

Jack, in-between POTW and Last of the Time Lords with a little bit of Torchwood thrown in.

* * *

He keeps a lot of secrets from his team, wears his WWII coat like a shield. He wonders if leather really is better at keeping people out, or if the Doctor just has more practice.

He thinks this is what the Doctor feels. He finally understands the older man's reluctance to admit his feelings for Rose (for anyone, really). Because it hurts. So very much, to watch everyone you love die. He's been in love enough (lost so so many) but he loves the Doctor too. And the Doctor won't die (at least not anytime soon). He hopes (dreams wishes desperately hopes) the Doctor thought him dead, that the abandonment was not intentional. Because forcing him to live eternity watching everyone die…

That's why he takes so well to Gwen. She reminds him a little of Rose, reminds him of the human side of life. The compassion and love that's easy to forget when you live so long. The Doctor needs Rose (his heart stutters at the memory of a that name on the list of the dead and wonders how in hell the Doctor is coping, because if _he_ finds it hard, it must be near impossible for the Time Lord) and Jack needs…well not quite Gwen, but someone, and for now she will do.

Perhaps this is kismet. The Universe getting back at him for being a con-man, for what he did during those two years he can't remember. Whatever he did, surely it's not worth centuries of Hell. Life-in-Death, with an albatross in the form of a broken vortex manipulator heavy on his wrist, his only respite, a hand bubbling in a glass case.

It's the only thing he has left of the only other person who can understand what his life (if this empty existence can be considered living) is like, and he waits. One day the Doctor will return and he will be ready.

Until then, he runs Torchwood. Fixes the broken agency and turns it into something better, and prepares the earth for the future.


	4. The Doctor Lies

**_AN: 11th Doctor after The God Complex. An attempt at a different writing style. The italicized lines are quotes from the show._**

_Rule one. The Doctor Lies._

You're good at it. This lying thing. You lie and manipulate, because there are some things you won't do, some you can't, (some that shouldn't be done either, but sometimes you lie well enough to even convince yourself).

Sometimes you lie to protect others. And sometimes you lie because you don't want them to leave _everything's going to be fine_, even if they should. Because everyone you touch breaks _give me guilt_, but you can't stand to be alone (even if you should be).

You've done it before; been alone. Back when you were fond of pinstripes and sneakers and were a little bit foxy. After you lost your best friend to save her life and the woman you (loved? love? will love? Forever). _Does it really need saying_? You leave The-Girl-Who-Waited and her Centurion to save them from yourself (_What do you believe in?)_ – forget that it is already too late. (Can a car and house replace a daughter?) Even so, it hurts to be alone. The TARDIS is always there, a reassuring hum in the back of your mind, in a place that used to hold so many more people. But it's not enough. You know that. Even she knows, though she tries her best. You're dangerous when you're alone (you're dangerous when your not, but you pretend that doesn't matter—you're getting better at lying to yourself, ignore the guilt just long enough to accumulate more, screw someone else up).

_Trust me._

It's a bit of a lie.

_If I always told you the truth, I wouldn't need you to trust me._

It is the truth, but you don't tell just how often that trust is founded in lies. How often you don't say what you mean. (Maybe that's why you pick up humans for companions. Their language is so easy to manipulate, so easy to say something and mean something else. A dichotomy.)

You try not to mess things up, it never works (12 months not 12 hours, 12 years instead of 5 minutes). Danger follows you. The universe must hate you (maybe it is penance for the lives you have taken, destroyed, ruined.) You hate yourself too (possibly even more than the universe does). You don't deserve forgiveness (don't really deserve trust either), but you take it, because maybe this time you won't screw it up.

Who are you really? It's a question everyone asks and you no longer have an answer, because time isn't linear and you know there are people you have been, people you will be that terrify you and you can feel the darkness on the edges of your soul and wonder when it will overtake you completely.

_Time Lord Victorious, Valeyard, Dream Lord_ and you wonder which one frightens you most (door number 11, _Of course it would be you)._

So you pretend everything is fine. It's you're default expression and after 900 years you're very good at lying. You give them a name, _I'm the Doctor, _a self-proclaimed title for the mad man who stole a box and ran. You can stop an army with this name. _The man who makes people better. _You don't deserve it (or maybe you do, you aren't even sure what it means anymore).

It means healer on the planet you just abandoned your best friend and her loyal husband. You're not a healer, you're the Destroyer of Worlds, the Oncoming Storm _EndingBurningFallingScreamingfire,_ the murderer of your own people.

You claim the title anyway.


	5. THe Great OZ

**MARTHA after the year that never was**

She's spent a year traveling a desperate world, a year to consider the man she thinks she loves. She is no longer blinded to him. What she sees is a man who is broken from loss and pain, grief and guilt, but will never allow himself to forget.

She watches as he clutches at the man who murdered so many people. In her head she knows why he is upset, but she finds it difficult to sympathize as the Doctor clutches at a murderer, wailing. She feels sick and turns away to vomit on the floor. She's not sure she can forgive him this.

Her family needs her to stay with them. She has seen more, understands more, than all of them. They will get through this as a family (and they will be a family again and not the shattered facsimile she ran away from).

She wants to stay with them. No, that's not true. She _wants_ to stay with the Doctor, but she _needs_ to stay with her family. For them and for herself (pick up the pieces of her heart and build it anew.)

She hates herself a little, when she realizes she's not so certain she would have stayed if he had loved her back. But she knows he won't move on from his _perfect_ _Rose_. She can't quite help the bitterness, because _Martha_ was there for him, _Martha_ didn't leave him, but he never noticed and it's definitely burning a hole through that place where her compassion should be. (But there's a little bit of her that keeps remembering that Rose didn't so much leave as become trapped. That this girl was powerful enough to bestow immortality on Jack and save the universe in the process. She deserves someone who loves her for her own merits and doesn't hold her to the impossible standards of a goddess.) She wonders if he was ever as wonderful as she imagined, this man who doesn't appreciate her. She's followed the yellow brick road, and is not so sure it's worth it, now she's here.

So she tells him that _she's good_ and leaves him. It's bittersweet, but she deserves to be appreciated. She'll pick up the pieces of her life and move on.

Maybe she can find Tom Milligan again?


End file.
